Tuesday, 29 October 2013
I'm covering my ears like a kid...
... when your words mean nothing I go La La La!
Or, it seems I go 'Ga Ga Ga'.
I need to learn to keep my head, I need to learn to listen closely.
My heart is weak, and treacherous, and though it fills me with all the hope I think I need, It will, on all counts, betray me. My head is wise. Boring, but wise. She knows the ins and outs of others, and can help me to steer away from trouble. For the past five weeks, I've been ignoring my head out of spite. No more.
Tomorrow, I wake up, aware (mostly) of my actions, and put them (mostly) behind me. I change my mantra, I change the meaning of my life, I change my future.
I'm sorry, those of you who have been hurt along the way. Take comfort in knowing you will never endure the sheer hatred I have for myself this very night. Take comfort in knowing my eyes do not burn through YOUR skin. Take comfort in knowing my claws are not plucking YOUR heart from YOUR chest.
To love and be unloved, this was my burden.
No more
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