Only The Good Die Young

It's true, what they say. Only the good die young.

When you lose someone close to you it's tough enough, but when they take their own life the scar takes even longer to heal. There are no words. All I can say is that I will always love her, and always miss her. It's a shame I can't be sure that she's in a better place. R.I.P beautiful.

I Never Continue...

I forgot. Again. A little too easily, too. I keep forgetting things, or rather, I keep trying to block things out. I'm glad my brain has devised this 'safety net' so I don't have to cope with remembering how shit life generally is. I made a surprise discovery today, and I am now locked in a state of horror whilst coming to terms with my findings. It transpires that I am a really crap friend. How could I step aside, and let the man I love be torn apart by these vultures?!

He has now fallen silent. I suppose he feels I have let him dowm? I suppose he feels lost? Perhaps he is past feeling? I cannot begin to imagine what he must be going through...how could anyone? I always worry when he is out of contact. I worry when he is in this kind of mood...

I suppose I just ought to wait...

Nonsense

So... what is it that you could want from me now? I cannot understand the way you work, you peculiar little man.

Sometimes all it takes is for me to be a little brave, a little reckless, before I find myself in an almost happy place. I went adventuring alone, this weekend. And what happened was amazing. I'm not sure how I managed it, but I must have been glowing radiant... drawing the attention of six men all at once. I'm no siren.

The night went well anyway, causing drunken mischief wherever I went... I felt far more pixie than elfin maid. Don't tell the grown-ups. I was out on the dance floor, the belle of the ball, when that all too familiar feeling swelled up inside. The knave was close, and I could sense him before I could even see him.

to be continued...