Blogtime :/

I've done the very same thing again. I told him I was leaving, and then caved in. Such a fool!
He's playing the suicide card again... if it was anyone else I'd let it slide, but with his history I'd rather find out that he's okay- even if it means breaking my silence. I did text him today and it turns out he's alive. He's sober now (which is a start) but still doesnt understand why I cant be his friend. Yes Michael, it's because I want you to suffer! And i had supposed him to be intelligent. One day he'll get it, I'm sure. The question is when- I can't wait forever!
This time I'm munching on mini eggs because wine is apparently an alcoholic beverage and is therefore very bad for me. Who knew?! I think really that chocolate is probably my biggest vice, and that a crate of wine would infact have been far less harmful. Rose or white if you're offering. Or red if you plan on bringing me a nice steak too. Or a stake- you know, like the ones for killing vamps and all that. If I'm going to cut off my heart, I might as well cut it out.
This doesn't really flow does it?! Ah well. I've always been told I couldn't write an essay, so writing after years of not being in a classroom is a miracle in itself.
My main problem is structuring. The fabric of my writing is unstable, but the topic of my writing is also that way inclined, and the mind from which it comes is well and truly fucked. At least I never deluded myself with the idea of writing novels and being a published author. Oh wait, I did. Never mind. I'd rather sit here and rot. I can't be arsed to write anymore now. Basically I'm lonely. Again.